


The Princess Bride drabbles

by KB9VCN



Category: Princess Bride (1987)
Genre: Drabble Collection, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2005-04-14
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-28 22:36:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 2,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6348421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KB9VCN/pseuds/KB9VCN
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Published 14-Apr-2005; humor; 100 words.</p><p>For the <a href="http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/"><strong>wordoftheday100</strong></a> "<a href="http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/61073.html">biddable</a>" prompt.</p><p>This contains mild slapstick violence.  Reader discretion is advised.</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Pitcher This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 14-Apr-2005; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**wordoftheday100**](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/) "[biddable](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/61073.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains mild slapstick violence. Reader discretion is advised.

Buttercup lived on a small farm in the country of Florin. Her favorite pastimes were riding her horse and tormenting Westley the farm-boy.

"Farm-boy, polish my horse's saddle."

"As you wish."

"Farm-boy, fill these buckets with water... please."

"As you wish."

She soon learned that, when he said, "As you wish," what he meant was, "I love you." But she learned that he wasn't the submissive biddable farm-boy that he first seemed to be.

"Farm-boy... fetch me that pitcher?"

A well-annoyed Westley grabbed the pitcher, turned it upside-down, and gently but firmly jammed it over Buttercup's head.

"As you wish."


	2. Pointing Out The Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 14-Jul-2005; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**wordoftheday100**](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/) "[rapier](http://community.livejournal.com/wordoftheday100/71123.html)" prompt.

Inigo kneeled between the trees, holding his rapier, and prayed. "Father, I have failed you for twenty years. Now our misery can end. Somewhere close by is a man who can help us. I cannot find him alone. I need you to guide my sword."

He stood, with his sword held out and his eyes closed, and began to walk.

"Inigo?" said Fezzik.

"Not now, Fezzik," said Inigo.

"Inigo!"

"Not now, Fezzik!!"

"INIGO!!"

An exasperated Inigo opened his eyes, and found that the tip of his rapier was touching Fezzik's nose.

"Couldn't we use an Ouija board instead?" Fezzik whimpered.


	3. Eggs Over Uneasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 27-Sep-2005; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**wordoftheday100**](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/) "[modicum](http://community.livejournal.com/wordoftheday100/83293.html)" prompt.
> 
> This takes place some time after the end of the movie.

Westley returned to the private rooms he shared with Buttercup, carrying a large silver tray. "Breakfast, Milady," he announced. "Scrambled eggs with toast and butter."

"It smells wonderful," a sleepy Buttercup said. "Are both of these breakfasts the same?"

"Not quite," Westley said. "Your eggs have a dash of Tabasco, but mine have a modicum of iocane powder. I mustn't lose my immunity to it."

"Darling?" Buttercup asked. "Which breakfast is poisoned?"

Westley frowned. "Oh, dear. I've forgotten. And they look exactly the same. Well, I'm not a fool, so I clearly cannot choose the eggs in front of you..."


	4. Fishing Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 16-Oct-2005; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**wordoftheday100**](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/) "[halcyon](http://community.livejournal.com/wordoftheday100/85018.html)" prompt.

An old man sat at the water's edge of the Florin Channel, in a secluded cove far from the Cliffs of Insanity. He had come to fish there many times, late at night, in shallow pools free of Shrieking Eels.

Enjoying the peace and quiet, he looked up at the night sky, above the halcyon waters gently flowing out to sea.

But then, he overheard voices.

"Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?"

"If there are, we'll all be dead."

"No more rhymes, now! I mean it!"

"Anybody want a peanut?"

"AARGH!!"

_Drat_ , the old man thought. _They'll scare the fish away_.


	5. Bodice Ripper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 25-Jun-2006; humor/romance; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**wordoftheday100**](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/) "[paucity](http://community.livejournal.com/wordoftheday100/111206.html)" prompt.
> 
> This takes place shortly after the end of the movie.
> 
> This contains adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Buttercup swept into the private bedroom she shared with Westley, wearing night-clothes that were light, loose, and very low-cut. "Do you like this garment, darling?" she asked Westley.

"Yes— what little there is of it," Westley said dryly.

Buttercup walked up to Westley, and draped herself against him in a not at all modest way. "When we were at last reunited," she said, "you said that there was a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. Do you not appreciate my efforts to mitigate this perturbing paucity?"

Westley was a man of action. He let his actions speak for themselves.


	6. Pirate Roberts' Dread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 9-Jul-2006; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**wordoftheday100**](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/) "[depredation](http://community.livejournal.com/wordoftheday100/113378.html)" prompt.

"Dread Pirate Roberts" Westley walked into a crowded sea-side tavern, ordered an ale, and listened in on a conversation between a finely-dressed merchant and a huge muscle-bound mercenary.

"I tell you," the merchant said, "the depredations of the Dread Pirate Roberts have nearly bankrupted me!"

"Don' worry 'bout dat," the mercenary said, " I don' care if dat Roberts' one-a dem fancy-pants swordsmen. When *I* gets my mitts on 'im..."

The mercenary reached down, effortlessly snapped off a table leg, and used the jagged end as a toothpick.

Westley timidly raised one hand towards the bar. "Check, please," he squeaked.


	7. Nothing To Sneeze At

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 18-Jul-2006; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[days of grass and sun](http://31-days.livejournal.com/563853.html)" prompt.
> 
> This is an out-take from the early part of the movie, when Westley and Buttercup still lived on the farm.

Buttercup passed Westley as he was entering the horse-stables and she was leaving.

"Did you enjoy your ride in the pastures?" Westley asked pleasantly.

"Have you been spying on me!?" Buttercup shouted arrogantly.

"Not at all," Westley said. "But, from the glow of your beautiful face, you were riding out in the sun. And I can see the dust of the high grass on your clothes—"

"Aah!—" Buttercup's face suddenly contorted. "AAH!!—" Westley held a handkerchief against her face, just in time. "ATCHOO!!"

"And your hay fever is flaring up," Westley said. "Blow, please."

THBBBT!! "Thank you," Buttercup said meekly.


	8. Down With It On The Farm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 11-Jan-2007; humor/parody; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[farm dog](http://31-days.livejournal.com/907062.html)" prompt. (I brainstormed on alternate meanings for 'farm dog', and then it all went wrong.)
> 
> This is an out-take from the early part of the movie, when Westley and Buttercup still lived on the farm.
> 
> This contains probably mangled and possibly offensive slang. Reader discretion is advised.

Buttercup looked around her. "Farm boy!!" she shouted.

Westley sauntered up. "'Sup, hotness?"

Buttercup frowned. "Have you cleaned the stables yet?"

"I'm down wit' it," Westley said, "Represent fo' sheezy."

Buttercup blinked. "Um... does that mean 'yes' or 'no'?"

"I ain't spittin' game, girl," said Westley. "I ain't sellin' no woof tickets. Jus' chillaxin'. You feel me?"

"I have no idea what any of that means," Buttercup said, mostly to herself.

"Hella naw!" Westley said. "What you trippin' for, girl? Be easy!"

_Oh dear_ , Buttercup thought to herself. _Perhaps my farm boy has been out in the sun too long_.


	9. Premium Piracy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 11-May-2007; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[all other perils and misfortunes of the sea](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1111764.html)" prompt.
> 
> This takes place some time after the end of the movie.

"A sealed letter came for you today," Buttercup said to Westley. "I left it on the desk."

"Thank you." Westley took a look at his letter. "Ah. This is from my insurance company."

"You have insurance?" Buttercup asked.

"Of course," Westley said as he broke the seal. "No self-respecting pirate would be caught without adequate coverage. We must be prepared for storms, sea monsters, and all other perils and misfortunes of the sea..."

He began to read his letter— and whimpered.

"Darling?" Buttercup asked.

"Judging from this rate increase," Westley said weakly, "my insurance company is also expanding into piracy."


	10. A Pirate Looks At Forty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 7-Sep-2007; angst/general; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[you look a little bit older, a little bit colder](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1216936.html)" prompt.
> 
> See also "A Pirate Looks At Forty" by Jimmy Buffet.
> 
> This takes place several years after the movie.

During a visit to the coast, Buttercup found Westley staring at the sea.

"Are you thinking of Dread Pirate Roberts?" Buttercup asked.

"Mmm," Westley said.

"Would you rather be out there now," Buttercup asked, "than here with me?"

"Of course not, dearest." Westley answered with only the slightest pause— but it was enough for Buttercup to notice. "I gave up that life forever when we were reunited."

Buttercup smiled thinly, but she said nothing. _I know you do not answer truthfully because it would hurt me_ , she thought to herself. _But it hurts me more when you lie to me_.


	11. Incontinent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 13-Dec-2008; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[and you return to us in this condition—!](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1912785.html)" prompt.
> 
> This takes place some time after the end of the movie.

Inigo had returned to visit Westley and Buttercup after several months' time, much the worse for wear. "What has happened to you, old friend?" Westley asked him.

"Vizzini often warned us, 'never get involved in a land war in Asia'," Inigo said. "Unfortunately, I failed to heed his warning, and I committed that classic blunder myself."

"I am confused," Buttercup said. "After Westley and I were married, you took the name of the Dread Pirate Roberts. How did a sea-faring pirate get involved in a land war in Asia?"

"Obviously," Inigo said sadly, "I was not a very good pirate."


	12. The Pit Of Voles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 19-Feb-2009; humor; 200 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days_exchnge**](http://31-days-exchnge.livejournal.com/) "population of 215 wombats" prompt.
> 
> This takes place some time after the end of the movie.

A weary and bedraggled Westley staggered into Buttercup's study. "Darling!" she cried. "You look as if you've been fighting Rodents Of Unusual Size!"

"I have," Westley said wearily as he fell into a chair. "We've got dozens of them in the castle cellar."

"But we are many miles from the fire swamp," Buttercup said. "Why are the ROUSes in our castle?"

"The same reason other rodents infest buildings in winter, I suppose," Westley said. "For the food and the warmth. They are rodents, after all."

"...Of Unusual Size," Buttercup noted.

They fell silent. As they stared at each other, they overheard the monsters screeching and thrashing in the cellar, even through the thick stone castle walls.

"...Darling?" asked Westley. "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

"That this castle is lost and we should destroy it, burying those hideous creatures under the rubble?" Buttercup asked. "And that you and I should go somewhere where they don't have ROUSes? Perhaps Fezzik knows someplace nice in Greenland."

"I was only going to suggest that we move the cheese stores out of the cellar," Westley said. "But on reflection, I'm not sure I'll ever get a good night's sleep anywhere near here again, myself."


	13. The Captain Hates The Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 3-Aug-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[at sea on the gray waters just far enough from any shore to know the news of the land](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3229023.html)" prompt.
> 
> This takes place some time after the end of the movie.

Westley had accompanied Inigo on his first voyage as the 'new' Dread Pirate Roberts. He found Inigo standing at a railing and looking out across the waves to the horizon.

"I have rarely before been so far out to sea that I could no longer see the land," Inigo said quietly. "The ocean is very peaceful, is it not?"

Westly rested a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Yes," Westley agreed. "Yes it is."

The two men gazed upon the waters for awhile longer.

"But it's rather boring after awhile, isn't it," Inigo said.

"Yes," Westley agreed again. "Yes it is."


	14. Treasured Chest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 5-Oct-2016; humor/romance; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[the big chest](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3253389.html)" prompt.
> 
> This takes place some time after the end of the movie.
> 
> This contains mild cheesy adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Westley and Buttercup were lounging in bed and reading correspondence.

"Listen to this, darling," Buttercup said. "A buried pirate's chest was recently unearthed. It's the largest treasure ever recovered."

"That's good news for the royal treasury, I suppose," Westley said.

"Do I detect some jealousy from the former 'Dread Pirate Roberts'?" a smiling Buttercup asked.

"Not at all." Westley snuggled up to Buttercup's bosom. "This is the only 'chest' I need. The golden heart that beats within it is more valuable than any pirate's treasure."

Buttercup stroked Westley's head. "Well, this 'chest' and this heart are yours alone," she purred.


	15. Happily Ever Afterburn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 23-Jan-2017; humor/romance; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[happily ever after doesn’t mean happy forever](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3284216.html)" prompt.
> 
> Just an excuse to paraphrase a [Tom Lehrer joke](https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Tom_Lehrer#That_Was_the_Year_That_Was_.281965.29).
> 
> This takes place some time after the end of the movie.

Westley, Buttercup, and an infant Waverly were enjoying a beautiful day under a tree near a farmhouse much like the one in which they had first met.

"So," Buttercup suddenly said. "Now what?"

"Huh?" said Westley.

"If this is 'happily ever ever'," Buttercup said, "then what comes next?"

Westley shrugged. "We live a long happy life filled with love, grow old together, and then die, I suppose."

"That sounds romantic," Buttercup said, "but after all we've been through, it also sounds rather boring."

"Consider the alternative," Westley said. "Most pirates my age have already been dead for a few years."


	16. Ship Rekt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 19-Apr-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[a shipwreck is a tall shore of humanity](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3316945.html)" prompt.
> 
> This takes place some time after the end of the movie.
> 
> This contains THAT kind of ship. Reader discretion is advised.

"Look what I've found." Buttercup handed a freshly-printed tract to Westley. "You and Inigo are so famous that folk stories are being written about you."

Westley began to read the tract, but paused in surprise. "It seems that Inigo and I became VERY good friends," he said nervously.

"Indeed," Buttercup said with fangirlish delight.

"Well! I am a man of the world, and such things do not disturb me," Westley lied. "It's still an honor—"

"Wait until you get to the final scene," Buttercup said. "It give a whole new meaning to the phrase 'I am not left-handed'."

Westley gulped.


	17. Employed Outside Greenland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 29-Jun-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[There's nothing lonelier than that. Than being cold and alone, and lost](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3326885.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).

While working with the Brute Squad to clear out the Thieves' Forest, Fezzik had unexpectedly encountered a small child. The gentle giant quickly gained the tiny girl's trust.

"Where did you come from, Mr. Brute?" the girl asked as Fezzik led her to a safe place.

"I was born in Turkey," Fezzik said, "but I came to Florin and this forest from Greenland."

"What were you doing there?" the girl asked.

"Nothing," Fezzik said. "I was unemployed."

"Oh," the girl said. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Fezzik patted the girl's head. "If I were still there, I wouldn't have met you."


	18. Role Reversal Reversal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 29-Jul-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[so I think it's best we both forget before we dwell on it](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3327585.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This contains weird adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Westley and Buttercup were trying to spice things up a bit with some role-play.

Buttercup swept into their bedroom, wearing Westley's old all-black pirate clothing and mask. "You are MINE, 'Princess'!— BWAH HA HA HA HA HA!!"

Westley was lying on their bed, wearing Buttercup's largest dress. "Not feeling particularly Princess-like," he said, breaking character.

"The dress suits you," a sniggering Buttercup said, "but your mustache ruins it. Still, I appreciate your being willing to try."

"You won't tell anyone about this, will you?" Westley asked hopefully.

"I shall never tell anyone anything," Buttercup gasped, "if I can't stop laughing."


	19. Build Me Up Buttercup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 15-Jul-2017; humor/romance?; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[tremble like a flower](https://31-days.livejournal.com/2593257.html)" prompt (back-posted to AO3 only).
> 
> See also "[Build Me Up Buttercup](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AF2pEwPxGzg)" by the Foundations.
> 
> This takes place some time after the end of the movie.

Buttercup snuggled up to Westley during a dark cold winter night. "Shall I fetch another blanket?" Westley asked.

"No, please don't go," Buttercup said into his shoulder. "I tremble not from the cold, but from fear of being alone on nights like these."

"Silly girl." Westley stroked her hair. "Surely you've realized by now that I shall never let anyone or anything separate us ever again."

"Even if [your elbows are broken](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvRH-8eF6l0)," Buttercup asked, "and your kneecaps split, and your body burned away, and your limbs all hacked and mangled?"

"You've put too much thought into this," Westley said nervously.


	20. Sick Of The Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 4-Nov-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[lost upon the sea](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3329779.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).

"You have told me much about the time you spent at sea with the previous Dread Pirate Roberts," Buttercup said to Westley. "But you have not spoken of your first days at sea before that."

"There isn't much to say," Westley said modestly. "Those days were mundane."

"Did you not experience adventure and excitement?" Buttercup said earnestly.

"To be honest," Westley said, "the first day, I was seasick."

"Oh," Buttercup said. "What about your second day, then?"

"I remained below deck after getting a bad sunburn."

"And your third day?"

"I was seasick again."

"Point taken," a disappointed Buttercup said.


	21. Sworded Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 22-Nov-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[out of the woods](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3329779.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).

Fezzik followed Inigo into a disreputable pawn shop. "Why are you buying another sword?" Fezzik asked. "Your father's sword has no equal."

"If it were lost or damaged," Inigo said, "I would need a replacement.... Good day, sir. May I see your finest sword, please."

The shopkeeper held out another sword. "This weapon was forged by the artisans of the black forest," the shopkeeper lied.

Inigo took up the sword and gave it a swing. The blade immediately fell off.

"The artisans don't make 'em like they used to," Fezzik noted.

"You break it, you bought it," the shopkeeper declared.


	22. Lightning Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 27-Dec-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[paw prints in the snow](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3330148.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This takes place some time after the end of the movie.

Westley and Buttercup had gone for a romantic stroll on an early winter morning after a heavy snowfall.

"Darling?" asked Buttercup. "Why are you carrying a coil of rope?"

"You never know when we might need it," Westley said.

"Don't be silleeeeEEEE!!—" Buttercup suddenly [vanished](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8Fsyld7YD0) into the snow feet-first.

Westley sighed, and then he tied his rope to a nearby tree and [dived](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20VQuuqNvsc) head-first into the snow after her.

A moment later, he resurfaced with a shivering Buttercup in his arms. "PLEASE tread more carefully," he said.

"Easy s-s-said than d-d-done," Buttercup stammered, "when s-s-snow is s-s-sliding d-d-down your b-b-blouse."


	23. Seagulls Screaming Kiss Her Kiss Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 2-Feb-2018; humor/romance?; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[I feel like I'm actually alive. I'm looking up to the sky](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3332043.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> See also "[Seagulls Screaming Kiss Her Kiss Her](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dw520adnPUg)" by XTC.
> 
> This takes place some time after the end of the movie.
> 
> This contains eww. Reader discretion is advised.

Westley and Buttercup were enjoying a walk on the beach, as couples often do.

"It does the pirate in me good to smell the air and to hear the waves," Westley said.

"I regret that I put an end to your life of seafaring adventure," Buttercup said sadly.

Westley embraced her. "Ah," he said, "but my life with you is only just beginning."

"Oh MY," Buttercup said as a seagull flew overhead—

* _SPLAT!!_ *

Westly glanced at the birdy doody on his shoulder. "Eww," he said.

"Would you like to share a bath?" Buttercup suggested seductively.

"For multiple reasons," Westley agreed.


	24. Becalmed Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 28-Feb-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[...but still this thing I couldn't control had let me down](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3332043.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This takes place several years after the movie.

A disappointed Waverly and an equally disappointed Westley returned to Buttercup after spending an afternoon together in the nearby fields. Westley carried a colorful box kite that was larger than Waverly— and it was still like new.

"Was there no wind?" Buttercup asked.

"None at all," Westley said sadly. "Becoming becalmed is a great danger for a pirate. It seems I cannot escape this danger, even in my retirement."

"Don't worry, love." Buttercup patted Waverly's head. "Your father will never run out of 'hot air'."

"You wound me!" Westley said melodramatically. "Still, we could try a hot-air balloon next time."


	25. He'll Come In Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 27-Mar-2018; humor/parody; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[anything to avoid another Inquisition](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3333751.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> See also... [well, you know](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nf_Y4MbUCLY). This takes place some time after the end of the movie.
> 
> This contains a predictable parody. Reader discretion is advised.

Westley was helping Buttercup prepare a meal with extra servings— they were expecting company.

"Do you think that Inigo will get here soon?" Buttercup asked eagerly.

"That's the seventh time you've asked me, dearest," an annoyed Westley said. "I mean, I wasn't expecting a kind of Spanish Inquisition—"

Inigo burst into their kitchen, wearing bright red robes. "NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!" he cried melodramatically.

As Westley waited for his heart to resume beating, Buttercup eyed Inigo's raiment. "You should wear red more often," she said. "It suits you."

"Do you think so?" Inigo asked modestly. "It's not too flashy?"


End file.
